Grammar Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Commas
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Welcome to part two of the prequel trilogy, in which we discuss the importance of everyone's favorite punctuation mark.
#commasareoverrated #hashtagsforlife #othernamesforahashtagincludepoundsignnumbersignandoctothorpewhichhastodowiththeprefixoctmeaningeightbecauseofitseightprongs #octoberalsomeanseightbecauseitwasoriginallytheeighthmonthoftheyearbeforejuliuscaesarhadtogoandmesseverythingupbyaddingjulyandaugust #nowyouknow
It's easy to see why reading long strings of words with no breaks can be annoying (unless you skipped reading them entirely, which I probably would've done if I hadn't been writing them), but this problem doesn't only occur on Twitter. Lucky for us, we have a punctuation mark to help clarify these sorts of things, and I know you know what it is because you've been learning about it since first grade, not to mention the fact that you've read six of them in this paragraph alone without even thinking about it. You know what I mean.
The comma.
Commas are complicated, I'm not going to lie. They can be used about a hundred different ways, so memorizing every rule is nearly impossible. The good news is you don't need to have every single rule memorized.
If you go back and read things aloud you can often tell where a comma should go even if you don't know the technical name and function for that specific kind of comma because when you read things out loud you have to slow down a little so you don't skip over the pauses that naturally occur when you're speaking pauses where a comma or perhaps even parenthesis should go which is helpful especially if the sentence is drawn out continuing long past the point when it should have ended much like this one.
Did that hurt to read? Yeah? Well, it was easy to write, and it's easy to do in your writing, too.
A good rule of thumb is to put a comma wherever you would pause while speaking. That method isn't foolproof, however, so I'll go over a few places where people often slip up on comma usage.
When in doubt, look it up. This website is a great resource for all things punctuation, and it knows everything about everything when it comes to commas.
Compound sentences
A compound sentence is a sentence with two or more independent phrases. That means that it has two parts that could stand by themselves as separate sentences; usually these are connected with a conjunction like and, or, or but. If you see a conjunction but the two halves can't stand alone, then it's not a compound sentence.
Compound sentence: I don't like Kanye West, but I like bees.
Compound sentence: I like bees, Kanye is afraid of bees, and my friend Benson has an entire bee farm that I am free to borrow from.
NOT a compound sentence: I didn't plant bees or wasps in Kanye's car.
NOT a compound sentence: I would never do that and laugh the whole time.
The last two aren't compound sentences because their conjunctions (or and and) don't connect phrases that could be complete sentences. "Wasps in Kanye's car" doesn't make sense by itself, and neither does "Laugh the whole time"; the underlined phrases in the first two examples, though, can stand alone as complete sentences.
Commas go right before the conjunction in a compound sentence, as you can see in the two examples above. In cases where there are three or more phrases, a comma goes after each phrase in addition to before the conjunction.
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Sometimes if one of your phrases is really short, you don't need the comma, but it's best to get in the habit of putting it in there all the time, just in case.
Complex sentences
A complex sentence has at least one dependent and independent phrase. A dependent phrase needs an independent phrase to make sense; it can't stand alone as a sentence. Complex sentences often include the key words because, since, after, although, if, while, as, or unless.
Complex sentence: Although Pokemon GO was popular a few months ago, nobody plays it anymore.
Complex sentence: Because nobody plays it, all those poor Pokemon feel cheated and abandoned.
Complex sentence: These emotionally unbalanced Pokemon may do something rash unless somebody gives them attention.
As in the compound sentence examples, the underlined portions make sense as sentences. The italicized parts, however, don't. They need something to lean on, which is why they're called dependent.
Here's where the commas come in: in a complex sentence, a comma goes after the dependent phrase, but only if that phrase comes before the independent one.
Dependent, independent.
If, then.
Because, then.
Since, then.
Until, then.
You can see this in the first and second sample sentences above. Notice that the third sentence doesn't use a comma--that's because the dependent phrase comes at the end. When the dependent phrase comes after the independent one, you don't need a comma.
Confused yet? Welcome to the wonderful world of commas. We're just getting started.
Nonessential information
People often use commas to separate out information that you don't absolutely need to know for the sentence to make sense--but you can also use dashes (like that) or parentheses (like this).
Think about it this way: imagine you're doing a group project with a couple people who help and contribute a lot and one person who just sets up the PowerPoint and spends the rest of the time blaring Polka music so loud that you can't concentrate. Yeah, having him there is a little helpful (the PowerPoint isn't going to set up itself), but he also gets in the way and can end up confusing everybody. The solution? Stick him in his own little room where he can do his work without disrupting you with 24/7 Polka Party.*
That's what the commas are for. You can stick this piece of information in its own little room where it doesn't have to mess with the rest of the sentence.
Please tell me somebody still watches The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. (In case you were wondering, Will Smith is always essential information.)
Lots of information could be considered nonessential. In fact, this is the main way that I remember where commas go other than listening for a pause.
The test: if you're not sure whether something is nonessential, just take it out. Does the sentence make sense? Does it still mean what you want it to mean? If both answers are yes, then that information is not necessary, and you can separate it with commas or parentheses. Examples:
Just because you can pick up and throw a microwave, and I know you can, doesn't mean you should.
My brother, who is no longer trusted with appliances, threw a microwave once.
It scared the petals off Miss Daisy, our neighbor.
The italicized information can be taken out and these sentences will retain their logic and meaning.
Even people's names are sometimes unnecessary, as when you're addressing them directly or when you name them a different way (as by describing them.) Examples:
The assassin, John Wilkes Booth, jumped from the balcony after killing Lincoln.
Why did you do it, Johnny?
Again, the italicized information can be taken out, and the sentences still make sense and mean the same thing. If you're talking about the Lincoln assassination, you know which assassin you're talking about. If you are John Wilkes Booth and somebody asks you a question, you'll be able to tell that they're talking to you.
Things can get tricky with names. Whether or not you include a comma changes the meaning of the sentence. If you say "my dog, Charlie, barked," it implies you only have one dog, since the commas mean you could take out his name and it would still make sense ("my dog barked"). Saying the same thing without the commas ("my dog Charlie barked") implies you might have more than one dog because the name is essential to knowing which of your dogs barked.
When in doubt, look it up. That website I pointed you at earlier (which I'll link to again because I won't make you scroll ALL THE WAY BACK UP) is a great resource for figuring out what to do.
*DO NOT DO THIS TO A REAL PERSON IN A GROUP PROJECT.
Items in lists
Okay, I know that this one's going to sound familiar: when you have three or more items in a list, use commas to separate them. Item, item, and/or item. Examples:
I knit, crochet, and quilt.
I knit sweaters, hats, and battle armor.
Assassins, military authorities, Grandma Becky, and rogue CIA agents want to know the secret of my knitting.
Pretty straight forward, right? As straight forward as commas can be, at least.
There's only one thing to watch out for when you're making a list, and that's those who care about grammar refer to as the Oxford comma. The oxford comma is the one right before the conjunction (and/or).
My battle armor is bulletproof, fireproof , and stain resistant.
In the last few years, the rules have changed a little bit so that technically, you don't need to put that extra comma in there. It would be just as correct to say:
My battle armor is bulletproof, fireproof and stain resistant.
That's fine most of the time, but sometimes leaving that comma out can lead to confusion.
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Okay, so most people would know that when you say Washington and Lincoln, you don't mean rhinoceri (rhinoceruses? rhinoceren?), but there are other situations that could be a little more confusing:
I went to the movies with my parents, a beekeeper and a famous rapper.
Are my parents a beekeeper and a rapper, or did they go with a beekeeper and a rapper? Without that extra Oxford comma, it's hard to tell. That's why I almost always put that comma in, even though I don't have to. Some teachers may strongly prefer you use the comma (more common) or leave it out (less common), so if you're not sure whether or not to use it, just go ahead and ask.
Other
A few other times when commas are used:
City, State (Dallas, Texas or Wardrobe, Narnia)
Introductory phrases (Wow, Well, Of Course, Obviously,)
Two adjectives in a row (the cold, dark hallway; the happy, sunny bunny)
Dates (June 71st, 1901) (If this comes in a sentence, include a comma after the year, too--on June 71st, 1901, we.... If it's only the month and year, no comma is needed--in June 1901 we....)
Big numbers (1,400,042)
If you're looking for more practice on how to use commas in real life (not just a multiple choice "Which sentence is correct?" thing), then check out this quiz. There are only a couple questions, but they're good. You can also check out the website the quiz came from for more rules about comma usage.
References:
" Comma." The Punctuation Guide. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2016.
"Rules for Comma Usage." Guide to Grammar and Writing. Capital Community College Foundation, n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2016.
