Revision
- aprilwritingjhs
- Jan 4, 2017
- 7 min read
Photo credit: https://imgflip.com/i/v64rx
I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be thinking of a clever way to kick this thing off and tell you about the wonders of revision/the terrors of keeping a first draft as is, but I just keep staring at those eyes. I can't look away. How can I talk about revising a paper when this one meme is forcing me to revise my concept of birds in general?
Right, okay, I'm uncomfortable now. Moving on.
Writing is rewriting. That's one of those things that nobody really knows who said first, but everyone agrees is true. Well, not everybody, but everybody important.
The fact is that what you put down in a first draft doesn't matter. It's what you do to that draft--the changes you make, the ideas you add--that determines whether your piece will fly or fart. As long as the end product works, people don't care how you got there or how long it took. Ever hear about the failed prototypes for toilet paper? No, because nobody cares. (I'd hate to be the person who tested those prototypes, though.)
Think about your paper like a big pyramid with the big ideas at the bottom and the little issues at the top.
If you can't read that text at the top, don't fret. That's not important, just me being unable to cope with white space.
When you're revising, start at the bottom and work your way up. Get your ideas organized (see my earlier post for help on this) before you worry about whether it sounds pretty. Once you're happy with what you have, you can ask for others' input.
Identifying the Big Ideas
Before you get into the nitty gritty of rewriting, it's good to take a second to identify some key aspects of your piece:
Audience--Who do you want to read this?
Purpose--What do you want to accomplish with this? Do you want to educate, inspire, or argue?
Thesis--What is the main point of your paper?
No matter what you're writing, audience and purpose are super important to keep in mind as you revise. Sometimes what you mean to write and what you actually end up putting down on paper have a disconnect, like how Kanye meant to make a sweater but actually made moth food.
Image credit: http://theprestonreport.com/ripped-sweatshirts/
Read through your paper and ask yourself, "Is this tone and perspective appropriate for the topic, audience, and purpose? Is there another tone or perspective that might work better? What do I feel when I read this? Is that what I want readers to feel?"
The thesis usually proves a bit trickier. A thesis is a statement in papers and essays that gives an idea what you're going to be talking about. It makes a claim that somebody could argue against, so "Harambe was a gorilla" is not a thesis statement, but "Harambe was the most influential gorilla of all time" could be, as long as you back it up. The rest of the paper explains and supports the thesis. All hail the thesis.
When you're reading your paper, ask yourself if the thesis is clear and well-supported. If you're not sure what your thesis is, that's a huge red flag that you're going to need to do a little more work. Check out this article for more info on theses and what to do about them.
Grammar
Grammaring are important because without none of it ain't no one can thought what you saying am truely.
Once you've got your ideas all sorted out, you can start looking at the top of the pyramid, making sure that what you're saying makes sense and that your sentences are grammatically correct. I've already done a couple posts about sentences and commas (and no third post to complete the trilogy because I can't count to three), but I'll just go over a few things to watch out for during revision:
Avoid sentence fragments--make sure you've got a subject and a verb.
Use proper capitalization.
Use commas--when in doubt, look it up.
Use apostrophes to show ownership, not make words plural.
^^ Seriously.
Avoid double negatives (didn't have none)
Avoid using a lot of adverbs.
Avoid ending a sentence with a preposition if possible (This isn't quite as big a deal now as it used to be, but some people are still sticklers for following this rule).
Use conjunctions (and, or, but, etc.) to link parts of sentences or series of nouns/verbs.
Avoid beginning a sentence with a conjunction.
Use active voice whenever possible.
Keep your tense consistent--if you start in present tense, keep it in present tense.
Keep your POV consistent--if you start in first person, keep it in first person.
Avoid repetition--don't say the same things over and over. Don't say something multiple times when you've already said it. When you're writing, only make a point once, then move on. Don't repeat yourself.
Set aside unnecessary information with commas, parentheses, or dashes.
Make sure your paragraph breaks make sense.
That's a lot to keep in mind. Some of those things will seem like natural things to correct when you go back and read through the piece. Some of them won't; you'll have to think about them a little more. That's why you don't mess with the grammar until all your ideas are sorted out, thought through, and in the proper order--if you end up rearranging and rewriting your ideas, then all the work you did on tweaking individual sentences will have been for nothing.
There are websites that say they can automatically assess your writing. You just copy and paste your essay into the box, and they provide instant feedback. Those websites are liars.
Image credit: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/you-sit-on-a-throne-of-lies
Okay, well, they're not 100% liars. Often times, those kinds of grammar machines can find some technical stuff you could improve--if you use a lot of adverbs or passive voice, they'll highlight that and tell you to change it. They might tell you that your sentences are too long or too wordy. Some even know when there are "better" words that you could use, but that's about as far as they can go. Remember: the most important thing in any paper is content--the ideas you have and how well you support them. Online grammar checkers work decently well, but they can't help with that.
If you do decide to use a checker for fine-tuning, keep in mind that it's a robot. It doesn't know what's working in your paper like a person would, so not everything it highlights needs to be changed. I put two of my upper-level college papers through a checker. It highlighted nearly every sentence as needing to be changed, despite the fact that I received high A's on both of them. Plus, if you feed the robots your papers, the machines will gain exponential knowledge that will allow them to reach self-awareness, thus assuring their inevitable rise to power and domination over all organic beings, and it all will have started with your report on the wing speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
Peer review
Coolio. You've got your ideas. You've got them organized. You've got your sentences shining and your sentient robot army waiting in the wings. Now what?
Peer review.
A lot of English teachers give you time in class to trade papers and look them over, which is cool, except that a lot of times, these in-class review sessions go something like this:
Student 1: What'd you think of my paper?
Student 2: It was good. What about mine?
1: Good.
2: Cool.
1: Yeah, you did a pretty good job.
2: Okay. I thought yours was good, too.
1: Thanks.
2: Yeah.
This is not a reasonable way for any human being to behave.
When you are reviewing someone's paper, give it at least a little bit of thought. Try asking a few of these questions:
Who is the audience, and does the writing fit it?
Is the thesis clear and well-stated?
Is there support for everything they're saying?
Does the information seem balanced? Does it seem like there should be other kinds of information used, like statistics or quotes?
Is anything confusing?
Should they explain anything more?
Should they explain anything less?
Are there any loose ends? Do they start talking about something, then stop before it feels like they should have?
What other directions could they take this?
Is it easy to read?
Are there any parts that sound weird?
What's the most interesting part, and how could they use that to make the rest of it more interesting?
If you were writing this, what would you do differently?
If Clark Kent removed his glasses, would he look like Superman?
You can ask a whole bunch of other questions, too, but this should give you a good place to start. If somebody else is reading your paper and they're not giving you good feedback, keep in mind that you can ask them questions, too--e.g., "I wasn't sure about this part. Does it make sense?" Sometimes the things that you're worried about in a paper are fine, so the other person doesn't even look twice at it, but it's better to double check.
Also, just because most of the peer review you receive takes place in the classroom doesn't mean that only other students can take a look. Ask your mom, your neighbor, your quirky uncle with the adult tricycle. Everyone is going to have a different take on your paper. Some of the things they say will be helpful. Some won't be. It's up to you to decide what feedback you want to use and what you want to throw in the trash. Then, when you've got their comments back....you can start all over.
References:
Massey, Taylor. "Top Ten Tips: How to Craft Effective Peer Review Questions." Cengage. Cengage, 25 Sept. 2014. Web. 4 Jan. 2017.
Questions for Self or Peer Review. N.p.: Temple University, n.d. PDF.
"Steps for Revising Your Paper." Purdue OWL. Purdue University, 1 Mar. 2013. Web.
"What are the Basic English Grammar Rules?" 5 Minute English. N.p., n.d. Web.
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